Starting to believe him.

Maybe i am beautiful... just not in my own eyes, i know everyone judges themselves harshly, but i do especially, and because i love him so much i want to be the best i can for him, which i dont think i am. not by far. wish i cud be a deep thinker lyk will :/ mayb i ain to blame for wot happened those years ago, i always thought i was, because an adult told me, and if ur young and easily molded, its hard to change your midn, how you think bout summat. this only makes sense, to me, and hardly. its probs cos the person who can influence me the most told me.

felt like i had been away from skl for ages, cos it felt weird today. i was too tired nd not at all enthusiastic. got really bored too.

IM A GLEEK XD
'Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night'

really hope this valentimes day, or at least around that time, is really great.

MATT DAMON

im watching an elvis film atm, touch butt!! wna go on rollercoasters, my head is still hurting abit.

Really hungry

I was walking, when my head became heavy nd fuzzy, then so did my vision, then everything went black. Obiviously i feel over. MAnaged to get up a few secs later. Apparently i blacked out. didnt feel good, nd docters were closed, so had to drive to hospital. on the way there i wanted two things, kfc (i was ravenous) and rob. had hallucinations of rob standing outside kfc offering me chicken.
when i had finsihed in hospital, most awesome thing, treu british. this dude with a tufty afro wearing just a hospital gown (no pants :S) nd had tube/tag thingys round his wrists,barefoot, standing outside having a fag. really wanted to take a photo.
celeb big brother was hilarious last nyt, when davina went into the house.
movement sensor lights are fucking terrifying, they dont wait long to turn off. ur in the toilet, then suddenly its pitch black. nd u cant exactly walk out nd move around with ya trousers round ya ankles. tbh i wasnt even sure if it was the ladies toilets :/

Every time i see you, i fall a little bit harder.

(im bored so im making a list)

Romantic things girls love guys to do <3 Advice guys :D
*Say i love you and mean it
*Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want, don't lie
*Take advantage of any alone time together, not it that way!
*Hold her round her hips and sides a lot, it's nice
*Tell her your most secret secrets
*Make sacrafices
*Take her shopping, buy her cookies :) cookies r nice
*Suprise her, big or small, girls love suprises
*Handle her with care (: shes precious
*Love her for what she is and not what you want her to be
*Cuddle up on a sofa and enjoy the feeling of just being together
*When she’s having a bad time, give her a warm hug - she needs it the most
*Everyone makes mistakes - forgive her if she makes one
*Hug her when she leasts expects it
*Massages? If u r any good ofc.... :D
simple gestures... they mean everything

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

HAve u ever felt so happy u cud burst?
Then not long l8r, it all comes crashing down :/ sometimes i have highs and sometimes i have lows.
I love him soooo much :D
hope he knows it lol

Robert is my sexy bitch!

Im gonna be bored tomorrow, no1 is spontaneous anymore! no1 is romantic.....
Sometimes my life seems pretty pointless.... nd suckish :/
Im healing, very slowly.....
So no1 pick at my healing (but still open) wounds
Embarassed myself earlier.
Didnt go toilet for ages despite being bursting nd nearly passed out.
Im really kinda ill.
Dnt ya just love it wen ur given so little support.

when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

I cant deal with this, tried pretending i was ok, but i cant. Lost dignity in fact. this was just one day, and there r so many days in the rest of my life. I honestly cant see the point of staying alive if wot u live for doesnt even care. Wish i cud wash myself clean of emotion. Who hasnt seen me cry now? the pain is too much, i dont see wot ive done to deserve this. im so depressed, i love him so much.

it's funny how you believe it when someone says they love you, and want to spend the rest of their life with you. im been so stupid. i need him so much. it's wot happens wen messed up ol' me relies on someone. after being let down for basically my whole life, you'd think i wud of learnt.

im wondering if he loved me, he was so sincere. i'd change for him, if thats wot he wants. i'm such an idiot. im crying as i type this, suprise suprise.

must of lost so much bodily fluid crying.

Sometimes i really wish i didnt care, but i mostly do.

My day has been ruined. The one person who cud partly redeem it isnt online. ffs. the reason i fucking got out bed this morning is no more.

watching a cinderella story. i am sick of all these true love films, there is no such thing as a happily ever after, as far as i know anyway. wow look at me. i'm a pessimist. woo :/

need to sort my hair out, it' too thick. need a style thats easy to manage, low mantinence and is quick etc.

Before i leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of jack :D

Maths. Rob has kinda convinced me that i am kinda pretty :) (gotta luv him!) miss jeffrey, she is so supportive "i dnt care if u fail"

very hyper. nd home alone. not a gd combo. been dancing rd in just hello kitty jumper :D PENG

Peng Ppl
*Jack N
*Nikki S
*Robert K
*Cilla Black
*I wud put Will but he bullied me in english

Do i kno any other ppl? CAn't remember

TOTALLY ADDICTED TO BASS.... all this needs now is welshies

Watching War of the Worlds

Snow is annoying, i slip over all the time, though funnily enuf i fall over mostly inside. Irony much.
Being a girl is so much harder than being a guy i think. Yes, guys have an extremely weak spot, but being punched in the boobs hurts seriously so much. And women have to give birth. Plus we have worse hormones nd 'times of the month' and we have high heels, though that is an option, and guys can wear them...
I am really confused at the moment, so many differant contending thoughts and emotions. Just want to blank it out, be numb. Couldnt life be simpler?

Hoping. Fingers crossed.

I'm hoping it will be ok, i have one worry, but i shuldnt be so paranoid.
MAkes me think about the plan....
Watching cbbc :/ wheres the cactus gone?
IT'S A DOG DRESSED AS A TREE
Are noodles a type of pasta?

Who shot JFK?

Just found that JFK is John F.Kennedy, the American president. And that there's an airport or summat named after him. :S

I'd like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns, sloooowllllly.....

Snow day. Not allowed out of house. Not gna do revision, i plan to watch tv.

Need a distraction..... I have the beginnings of a plan.

Situation is pretty stupid. But i aint gna blog it, i just write it down in my (hello kitty!!!) diary, that way no1 will ever kno wot goes on in my messed up mind.

Wish plastic surgery wasnt so expensive

Well then....

Have you ever wished you could become a better version of yourself than you already are to please someone? Or to stop people judging you, wish you could change then people will stop treating you like you are completely incompetent and/or irregular.

2 0 1 0 XD

I have resolutions, get a grip, and get.... shit i forgot! only made it like 9 hours ago and ive forgotten it! Maybe one resolution should be to remember stuff >:/ cant stop eating lindt :) it is sooo yummy. like heavenly balls of chocolate aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

No seriously, this year im going to try and change. be more focused, smart (can you chose to be that?)normal, sane, in control and happy. Last will be hard sometimes :/ there will be a new and improved Amy Hardwick. This is going to be hard i bet. Bugger.

Haven't done any revision for history and science gcses which are in 'bout 14 days give or take. Well i did read the introduction of the book of revision for history. So i suppose you could say ive done a little bit.

RIP Dominic <3