Baby cat :S

as i write this i can hear a noise, it sounds like the cross betweeen a cat and a baby, its mieowing but is quite baby-like. kinda depressed, think i am a bad girlfriend. trying to find a hobby, i've tried so many its so frustrating. i wna work wiv animals, at a rescue shelter or summat, but you have to be over 16. bugger. got an after school detention, didnt give in science hw. no, i didnt, but i showed sir, then put my book in the box. obiviously there is no point.

depression. how can i describe it? its lyk a monster under your bed, waiting to get you. or a deep, deep dark hole that you cant get out of. there are so many different depressions, for me, sometimes, its lyk a searing pain, a knife, in my chest, piercing through my body, but i cant scream. i can only cry, i dont want anyone to hear me. i feel ashamed. cigrettes, alcohol-they dnt work. but there are times, usually at school with my friends, when i feel happy.

happy. i sometimes let this get out of control, i go crazy and mad. i say nd do things ill regret. its quite like being drunk-no doubt i wud know about- but you're not, just giddy. usually this happens to me, i hate it later- but at the time im loving it. loving being the centre of attention. for all the wrong reasons.

can you hear voices in your head? do you talk to yourself? do you have arguements in your head? i do.