Watching my name is earl, Randy is amazing!!

Yay. Swine flu is back. (it didnt actually go but wasnt as bad) . I probs hav it- i hav some of the symptyms nd the odds (according to jack) are against me. mum says get ya vitamins- so i mcdonalds, prawn crackers, pizza nd white chocolate buttons. I hav a new program i lyk- come dine wiv me. lol. drew a pic of brrbbbrbrbrbbbbrbb the hedgehog (aka gerry) in my planner. crazy tin box. oh yay, now the pain has gone down to my stomach. fuck fuck fuck. i 4t i jinxed it. wish i cud go jack m's house nd get drunk >:( i dnt wna be ill. hate it hate it hate it. ice skating is scary, jealous of ppl who can do it- nikki, cam, jack, steven etc... it really is a small world. failed at anxoeriexia today, lasted until after midday.

turns out, i've been doing my own stunts my whole life. i just called them accidents.

sophie just gave me two smileys. we is now watching notting hill.

omg, it is never off the table.

The day i died.

Drag myself from my bed
Around 20 past 6
Get my kids up make breakfast1 egg 2 toast 3 weetabix
and as i sit down i look up and your standing in the doorway sun at your back
in my old brown dressing gown
Well no one can love you more than i love you now, but i
Gotta go running for the bus
Coat flying and i try not to miss it this time but the drivers waiting and that’s strangekids on the top deck quiet for a changeand there’s no rain and no roadworksin the bus lane and all my hurts run awayand im smiling as i’m punching in

the day i died was the best day of my life
the day i died was the best day of my life
tell my friends and my kids and my wife everything will be alright
the day i died was the best day of my life

Dulux Paint Compact 22 smackers.... Dirrrrtyy

Barry's
Lonely
Orange
G-String

Children are small.

*Dramatic music...*

Church... Primeval... Connor....Awww.....

'I want you to want me...... I need yout to need me.... i love for you to love me....'

I want a pet mammoth.

I hear a large lollipop flying overheard.

Some ppl get broody, i get cakey. I hav this urge to make cakes, lots nd lots nd lots of cakes, for all my friends nd the ppl i bum (remember love!) Fisher-Price toys look fun. Science was funny, apart from the crazy head pains, Gabs is so fit. Josh is so funny. I'm really enjoyin Art, i love 30 seconds to mars. P.e is gr8, Rob makes me be careful nd not pass out lol. Then im quite gd at badminton im ttly gna challenge Rob- even tho sir dont lyk the table tennis nd badminton ppl playing wiv each other (tat sounds dirrrty) as fit as sir is. fink im actually losing weight :D cant wait for boxing tomoz XD today has made me sooooo excited bout my birthday!!!

btw,,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM!!!!!!!!!!!

Owwww. It hurts.

I was talking to puffincat then I sat up weally weally fast nd hit my head on the sharp edge of the table, blacked out for a bit. Slurring words nd feel floppy, mum worsens condition wiv scary maths questions bout cat food. Jamie's road trip is terrible- :( poor alligator my lil mini-me got into the competition (sooo proud). I feel funny. I hate my fringe. Stupid hand. Still gna do boxing on fridai- even if it kills me- tho it will just be my hand tat dies. There's a fat foreign correspondant on tv :/

Mieow.

Yay. A cyst. OOOH. Primeval- sophie just gave me bday cake.

I'm offically an invalid, no heavy lifting, boxing, or fun having. A ganlion, u can remove them (wot they did in olden days) wiv whacking 'em wiv a big heavy book. the cat just walked in. cactus. docter didnt seem to do much, meh. it hurts a lot, i feel crappy. curly hair- noooooooooo. finally done sum errands :/ connor from primeval is fitttt, especially wiv those gloves. burgers for tea :) <3 today was weird. i need to get control.

hello kitty has no mouth

Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she must scream. That is why her head is so big.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, yet she speaks the truth.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, so where has all the porridge gone?
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she has a tongue.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she keeps buying toothpaste.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she always eats her vegetables.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet I have no mouth.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet one of her listed hobbies is eating the cookies her sister bakes.
Hello Kitty wept for she had no mouth, until she met a man who had no face.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she still knows how to whistle.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but it only takes her three licks to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie PopTM
Hello Kitty has no mouth to spite her face.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and by this time her lungs are aching for air.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet in space you can hear her scream.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet mmmmph mmphhmmph mmphmppph!
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her mother can't get her to stop sucking her thumb.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but man can she hum.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she is sooooo hungry.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her dentist always gives her a sugar-free lollipop.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet children are starving in Africa.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's always putting her foot in it.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her breath is always minty fresh.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and when she gets sick, her head swells to near bursting.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and so she really didn't inhale.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she is expert with a blowgun.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet her lipstick is prostitute red.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she makes that saxaphone come alive.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she also has no shame.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she often smokes in bed.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's bulemic.
Hello Kitty has no mouth but hey, cocaine goes up your nose!
Hello Kitty has no mouth, but she still enjoys a good cigar.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she's always coughing up hairballs.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, yet she's the reigning 'Star Search' lip synch champion.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, yet she's the spokesperson for Sanrio.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, because "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all".
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she bites the hand that feeds her.
Hello Kitty has no mouth, and yet she has a FAQ.

Omg. Shoes.

I have this realli weird feeling, im not ill, but im not well. I'm not happy, but im not sad. I'm in the middle, lyk that butter (or i cant believe its not butter :S) advert. It's a state of strange, non-emotionness. But i am feeling a bit better, i kno who to blame. Joe. Which our hilarious (being an understatemnt) nd random convos. I never knew bout the west nd the south nd the sexings. But not in the north cos of the bears.

Ppl hav theories. I lyk them. They make me feel gd. If they r true, there aint really nuffin i can do, tho slightly tempting it probably cud be if this was happening a year ago.

32 Fittest Celebrity guys ever (the first may not be a celeb but he sure is the fittest!! nd this is my list so woteva!) nd deffo no Zac Efron!!

1. Jack Norrish
2. Ed Westwick
3. Noel Fielding
4. Robert Patterson
5. Aidan Turner
6. Jared Leto
7. Chace crawford
8. James McAvoy
9. Zach Braff
10. Shia LaBeouf
11. Ewan Mcgregor
12. Orlando Bloom
13. Jude Law
14. Ryan Reynolds
15. Johnathon Rhys Meyers
16. Leonardo DiCaprio
17. Chris Pine
18. Milo Ventimiglia
19. Matthew Mconaughey
20. Hugh Jackman
21. Johnny Depp
22. Russel Brand
23. Luke Pasqualino
24. Alex Pettyfer
25. Brandon Flowers
26. Mitch Hewer
27. Colin Farrell
28. Pharrell Williams
29. Steve Jones
30. David Tenant
31. Will Smith
32. Gerard Way

Lets have some fun this beat is sick, i wanna take a ride on ur disco stick :)

Lady Gaga :D

So bored, shud be doing h.w...i hav lots. msn is stupid it wont work, had to sign in from web. nd the ppl i wna talk to aint even on, tbh- they're probs not even awake.

I feel ttly neglected. I never get to hav sleepovas anymore, not tat anyone invyts me cos sum1 (u kno who) is a bitch nd has to ruin my fun.

I'm listening to hsm songs (: i know most of words :D

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a starThats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you
I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

Songs i can relate to/ find inspiring/have the ability to make me cry

• Hsm1 When there was me nd you- Gabriella
• My life would suck without you- Kelly Clarkson
• Because of you- Kelly Clarkson
• My heart will go on- Celine Dion
• The Scientist- Coldplay
• Moment- Aiden
• Man in the mirror- Micheal Jackson
• Take a bow- Rihanna
• Bohmemian rhapsody- Queen
• From yesterday- 30 seconds to mars
• Happy go lucky- Steps
• Self inflicted- Katy Perry
• Hurt- Christina Aguilaira

Watched Forest Gump last nyt, Jenny is such a douche! I wish i had sum1 who loved me as much as Forest loves Jenny, and thought bout me that much- (even wen he is shrimping ;) lol )

Oh dear. Look wot i just found (again) on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGMAp0joGF0

Rob, wen u read this, plz call me :) x

Wow. Crap day but then since geography....

After i was cheered up by Luke in geography, (once i had done my business, i was suddenly hyper) the afternoon so far has gone quite well. Had a chat, so finally he knows where i live! Lmao.... oh dear..... :S Got home, got high on m&ms (jizz jizz jizz) had the urge to scream out jizz in geog btw. I ACTUALLY LOVE MUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just had to get tat out system yano... went to shop, had weird random thoughts bout past bdays nd ex-bfs-blame ahms- (the two are related), have i really nearly been at moulton 3(ish) years????bought choc ices nd sophie poom bears- it is her bday!!!!! lollipop lady gave me some advice "go... quickly!" she is my idol, i love her :) then the kids knew my name! go me! the year 9s love me!!! tho i had to tell them my surname was hardwick not chadwick :/ but meh, i didnt really know them! im wearing just pants nd a vest :D hehe. had a choc ice wen i get home (: nd sum more m&ms. ive been getting propa excited bout my bday- even tho it is ages away. basically, i just want hello kitty stuff nd matching underwear (yes, the two can be combined :P) nd twilight stuffs i.e the awesum top off amazon nd the dvd, cant believe i still havent got it! oh i want choc ices too...... atm i am listening to uprising on repeat.
i probably shud put my clothes on. i need another choc ice.

4 months 2dai <3

Traditionally, the President is the highest paid public employee.

Being a model is hard.

I'm too fat nd ugly to be one anyways.

But, meh, i am always ready to help ppls out.

At least there was no full nudity.

(cos i only do partial ;) enit)

Had to be made up,

i've never worn so much make up in my life.

I'm such a bad model tho

The heels were soooo high

Worst bit was when i crawled on the floor outside,

on the tarmac,

clutching a barcardi breezer

(i get bored..... so yano......)

Then i watched Primeval.

Saw a hedgehog.

Spilled crumble everywhere.

On the child too.

Poor Mark.

I cant wait til boxing on thursday :D

fun fun fun emma...xxxx

1 last chance.

then i'm not bothering.

i love hello kitty

i love choc ices

hello kitty shaped choc ices

most incredible thing ever

"BETCH
LET ME BORROW THE TOP"

i want it so much.

its crazy.

omgigosh

the government is cutting agen

(wot exactly r they cutting?)

wots the point of sniffing solvents?

they dnt even smell nice.

i am not kevin

its really sad tat u fink so

i choked on a sausage (well half) today

it really was painful

i actually nearly died

(tat last fing may be an exaggeration, but empahise on MAY)

my throat is bruised

still hurts

saw my life flashing before my eyes

(all i basically saw was hello kitty, choc ices nd john prescott)

WHO THE HELL IS JOHN PRESCOTT?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant wait til my birthday, nd cant wait to see new moon XD

its gna be awesum

Unorganized

I may, or may not hav an appointment tomorrow, i fink i hav, but nobody tells me nuffin (ha! i quoted hot fuzz!) Mums r confusing. I shud just do wot i wna do.

I hav had enuf.

I am too angry for words. I have met the most selfish person in the world, in fact, more than bloody met. Wot is wrong wiv me? Y does she hate me so much? Y do i hav to do this blog in my local libary becoz i had to go b4 i screamed nd did summat drastic, i honestly cant take it anymore. Its my life, nd if u get to do wot u want, y cant i? Its not as tho i havent earnt it.

An enigma never tells her secrets, unless they r really big nd then Nikki has to know.

Just got bak from boxing (ish), well it was an hour so ive been out nearly an hour. but does tym really matter wen ur me? who doesnt even kno where wales is... (liam wud be soooo mad) Boxing is actually proper fun, i am finally learning this weelk wbout the satisfaction of excersise. i am enjoying p.e (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) nd gymnastics too nd now boxing. i'm enjoying excersise, so miracles do bloody happen. dnt c y people r so suprised tho, hmph.

school is actually pretty good, i am not even minding maths tbh. even tho the teacher supposedly hates me, tho mayb she got over the grudge she had. im lyking pretty much all my lessons, especially geography , depsite wot luke does, tho i was asking for it, i did kick him first.

overall, im in quite a postive mood, turns out i can easily ignore probs i i do hav them, nd i can help other ppl, im just pretty good yano. i do lyk helping others, so they kno i care.

' i cant speak french, so i let the funky music do the talking, talking, now..."

Strawberry milkshake nd cucumber dont really go tbh.

Sometimes life is just plain confusing, then the unthinkable happens, it's quite scary yano (: my mood has decreased from yesterdays (see last blog) but im okish. todays been quite suprising nd ironic. P.e was awesum, me nd rob doing fitness, nd i went quite fast on the treadmill. nd wow. jacob's freaking guns. wow. biggest muscles i hav ever seen on sum1 my age. they r so awesum. i shud get sum. off ebay. as sir wud say, i cud be a beefcake :D on of my teachers is awesum, they r so enhustiscatic bout badminton. stop sending me vids :S

its funny how life can be so fucking annoying. im in quite an angry mood. lol. tho vids hav cheered me up.

'i think u hav too many shoes"

Thats not my name.

For once in my life i am in a good mood, a happy one. made a decision yesterday, failed but made much better one today. i am able and strong (well, ish). I may only be average-looking, but i wud rather be that than terrible looking and hopefully, once i start understanding things, i may actually pass my gcses. I felt really responsible, i am the one who teaches the girls, it is my duty whther they win the competition. apparently, quite a few people like me, so at lest i have very gdgdggd friends. there are things in my life i wud like to change, but i cant be as lucky as to hav a gd everything, i wish i cud share my happy mood- there are a few certain people i wish i cud make happier. I even stopped myself crying at half an hour ago. i hav a plan i hope it works, i think it is, it may be one extreme to another, but it will work. if it doesnt. i will consult the oracle.

note to self- get an oracle. does garegg count?
\
i am so glad there is one person in my life i can truly rely on, someone i can trust wiv my life. i thank this person, they kno who they are. they are one of the greatest people ever, i hope they realise it.

Ffs

I made it more than 24 hours without getting depressed, all it takes is un-intentional (i hope) neglect to bring me back down. thankyou so bloody much. Nd its hard to sing kelly claarkson wen ur crying, nd dog food smells rank. Thank god tat luke's randomnesskeeps me sane (ish)

Grrrr.

Why cant i be good at summat? We all have our talents. But there are ppl who dont hav anyfin. I wna be known being really amazingly gd at summat!!! I hav no talents, i am ok at writing, but tats only because i hav no lyf so i read all the tym. I dnt kno wot i want to do wen im older, which i shud know by now because im in year 10 nd so much is happening lyk work experience, so basically im fucked.

Blog 141 :)

Some people hav all the luck. They hav two parents, who love them and rescept them- most are truely nice people. Whereas others, they hav neither- it's so hard having one parent, you hav less freedom nd things are just all round tougher. Or a step-parent, sometimes they r for the better, but sometimes for the worst. They will control your biological parent or the step sibling will control them both. Then there is favouritism, which ttly sucks, cos i've never been a favourite. It's all just seriously unfair.

Me nd Rob have a plan. We r going to start our own restraurant (tat sells food :P) We r recruiting Garegg as our head waitress nd 7S1&2 as our little workers, literally little. Like oompa loompas. I'm in charge of Desert nd Rob is in charge of the Main course. We need someone to do the business side of things, so we r having Jack for tat (:

In addition to my last blog,about Santa
"Wot do u want for christmas?"
"No Santa, wot do YOU WANT for christmas? "
It sounded better in my head yano.

Everyone seems to love and need me. So i better take care of myself. Decided not to jump out of tat big window after all (also becoz Clive sed i myt die) But it did look fun. So no more recklessness or depressedness. Or i will hav quite few angry guys (who care about me) after me :/ teehee. I need some girly influence, but guys do make gr8 mates. Last nyt i was soooo happy, got the bestest txt i had ever recieved, from the bestest person ever. Got some other sweet txts too.

Yesterday i woke up at 12.05pm, nd 2dai i woke up at 10.30am. I went to bed after 1.30am. This is bad. I hav school on mondai. dear dear dear.

Ooooh just got txt from Rob :)

I have such awesum friends. Rob, Jack (x2), Nikki, Emma, Cam, Joe nd Will (i will get ur shirtssss, it's ooonnn!!!!) Ily all xxxx

Joe Foley has destroyed my innocence.

I'm happy lyk santa on prozac at disneyland getting laid. But Santa is always getting laid. Thats wot happens wen u sit naked on his lap. Apparently he calls his um, manhood, his little helper, and Mr Claus has the impression tat he is a pimp, calling everyone hoes. Ho ho ho..... Merry christmas my arse.

I've found the most amazing websyt ever. ever. http://www.kittyhell.com/2007/01/25/hello-kitty-gun/

Said websyt has everything, hello kitty everything. Firearms, sex toys, tattoos and weddings. Just google to find more stuff- google hello kitty firearms. I've found lots of hello kitty guns :) i think my life is complete.

Yesterday- v.fun. V.busy morning, getting harassed (nd probably frisked) by this old lady in the co-cop (brand new). Baking is awesum, i love cake mixture, nd i cud just live on chocolate buttercream icing. Suprising ppl is fun, especially the ppl u love. Yummy yummy cake- i am the greatest cake baker in eastern midland place. Sophie makes gd brownies.

I think he was pleased. I'm quite sure he was. Well he definately was at one point... Havent had curry in ages, drew a cow wiv a awesum fringe ;) private jk yano. Jack culdnt draw so me nd my new friend Lily taught him how to draw circles. The sun you see. Then Jack fell in love with his crab, top hat....

The most beastly bunny ever is called Princess. I mean, WOWWWW. As Jack sed, beefcake. She stole the lettuce, poor Rosie. I'm grandma now, apparently (; quite chuffed yano. Full moon last nyt.

Then i was txting ppl, and getting so much luv, i just culdnt be sad, or depressed or anything. Ppl really propa care about yano, nd they sed as much.

Then it got all mysterious. Some kinda letter, tat seems really dangerous, but i'll hav to wait til monday. So another reason y i cant wait til school.

Fuck me, i'm a celebrity :] can't take ur eyes off me...

At Jacks house. The rained poured down nd the signals failed. Then the duck died, so we sung high skl musical, grease nd moulin rouge.

Its tym to sort myself out, its tym to make ppl understand.

I'm not the favourite. It's always a competition.