The 16th of May

I have to pretend I'm okay, even though I'm not, I can't believe myself, I let myself just getting hurt, again and again. Leopards don't changed there spots, once a liar, always a liar. Selfish people dont change. He's been lying to so many people, it's disgusting Did I ever factor into the equation, I am so nothing, non-existent. I am so stupid. I was never good for anything, I would escape now, except for that I need to stay. I must hide my pain, just like I keep doing. I was so blind, so arrogant. I just wish I could have a bit of happiness come into my life.

I actually feel sick.

Maybe I'll stop crying soon.

I don't think I can do this any more. How come he gets everything, and I get nothing?
Life is just so unfair, and I can't stand it any more.

Don't see the point in blogging, most of my friends don't seem to trust me at the moment, they just think I'm a stupid slag :( I probably am.

There's more heartbreak soon. If you think of what's going to happen. Because I know that apparently I made you who you are now, a better person, that is not that nice, nor trustworthy. Because I know you settled for me, me not being the girl you wanted. Because I know you didn't really mean what you said, me being a in different country. I've got three different heartbreaks, that are all kind of the same, except one is the most painful.

I could try swearing off it, but it never works, I can't. How could I of gotten so far, yet so quickly gone back to where I was?

I'm kinda angry, very angry. I want to warn people but no one will believe me, how about you get yourselves hurt, then join my club.

Not sure how I'm going to cope, but I'll find a way, I don't have a choice really.